WARNING: This is going to be a whiny post. You have been warned. Turn back now if you want to be spared the Ah-waaa aspect of this post.
It starts on a positive note.
I love jelly beans (jellybeans?). Whether it's one word or two I love 'em! Especially when I'm lonely and mopey and bored. Which I am tonight. Why? You might ask. Or more likely: how in the world can you be bored with two newborns to take care of? Because we are currently not following schedule. Which is ridiculously hard for me.
I love having a schedule and a routine and I do not adapt to change very well. I pretend to, but really inside I turn into a petulant three-year-old and am flat on my back flailing my arms and kicking my legs in protest. We are not following schedule tonight because the girls didn't really take an afternoon nap. Snippets of sleep here and there, but never an actual, real nap. So, we didn't do our 6:30 bath because they had FINALLY fallen asleep and at 8 they are still asleep and inside my inner three-year-old is terrified that not following the bedtime routine schedule means that I am not going to sleep at all tonight and we are going to be totally screwed up and that they'll go back to waking up every hour. These fears are totally irrational. Sleep is sleep and skipping their bath tonight is not going to kill us. I mean, how dirty can a six week old get in two days? Right?
So, I have two sleeping babies right now. Most people would ask why I am not jumping for joy and enjoying the quiet and time of not meeting a small humans every need? Because my husband is asleep with them. And I don't have the heart to wake him up because he works all day and probably only gets four hours of sleep at night, but because he works all day I don't get to see him except for maybe 2 or 3 hours in the evening and I miss him. So, I'm eating jellybeans and feeling sorry for myself in my lonesome-ness.
See? Mopey. You had your chance to turn around. Shame on you if you are now disgusted with my melancholia. My excuse is sleep deprivation.
We have the girls' ultrasound appointment tomorrow to find out if they have congenital hip dysplasia. Fingers crossed at (A) they do not have CHD and (B) that they do not get too terribly pissed off at us.