Jellybeans

WARNING: This is going to be a whiny post.  You have been warned.  Turn back now if you want to be spared the Ah-waaa aspect of this post.

It starts on a positive note.

 I love jelly beans (jellybeans?).  Whether it's one word or two I love 'em! Especially when I'm lonely and mopey and bored.  Which I am tonight.  Why?  You might ask.  Or more likely: how in the world can you be bored with two newborns to take care of?  Because we are currently not following schedule.  Which is ridiculously hard for me. 

I love having a schedule and a routine and I do not adapt to change very well.  I pretend to, but really inside I turn into a petulant three-year-old and am flat on my back flailing my arms and kicking my legs in protest.  We are not following schedule tonight because the girls didn't really take an afternoon nap.  Snippets of sleep here and there, but never an actual, real nap.  So, we didn't do our 6:30 bath because they had FINALLY fallen asleep and at 8 they are still asleep and inside my inner three-year-old is terrified that not following the bedtime routine schedule means that I am not going to sleep at all tonight and we are going to be totally screwed up and that they'll go back to waking up every hour.  These fears are totally irrational.  Sleep is sleep and skipping their bath tonight is not going to kill us.  I mean, how dirty can a six week old get in two days? Right?

So, I have two sleeping babies right now.  Most people would ask why I am not jumping for joy and enjoying the quiet and time of not meeting a small humans every need?  Because my husband is asleep with them.  And I don't have the heart to wake him up because he works all day and probably only gets four hours of sleep at night, but because he works all day I don't get to see him except for maybe 2 or 3 hours in the evening and I miss him.  So, I'm eating jellybeans and feeling sorry for myself in my lonesome-ness. 

See? Mopey.  You had your chance to turn around.  Shame on you if you are now disgusted with my melancholia.  My excuse is sleep deprivation.

We have the girls' ultrasound  appointment tomorrow to find out if they have congenital hip dysplasia. Fingers crossed at (A) they do not have CHD and (B) that they do not get too terribly pissed off at us.

Update

I am happy to announce that as of today my beautiful girls are six weeks old!

Hazel

Haley-Elizabeth

 Not that anything has really changed with them turning six weeks, but it seems like as good an occasion as any to start blogging again. 

We went to the beach over the weekend and the weather was HORRIBLE, but that's the Oregon coast for you.  It was still wonderful to spend time just the four of us and for me to not be mentally obsessing over laundry and dishes and all the stupid stuff that I feel stressed compelled to do when I'm at home (also, the house we were staying in had cable. Can you say "Food Network"?!?). 

I have to say I do miss sleeping... SO MUCH!  I keep reminding myself that this will only last for so long, but I'm very selfish about the little sleep I can get.  I'm a better mom when I have some sleep.  I have more patience, I play more. I'm so much better at this job that I am okay with doing what I need to do to get as much sleep as I can during the night especially since napping during the day doesn't really happen.

 The first six weeks have gone by so fast, I hope the next six weeks go by just as quickly (I can't wait for the girls to be three months old and to be back in my age comfort zone).